Assalamu’alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh,
IN THE NAME OF ALLAH, THE MOST BENEFICENT, THE MOST MERCIFUL
One of the many issues that we face in our current times is the issue of marriage especially you know being a young guy or a young girl trying to get married it’s almost become a mission impossible and I really wanted to speak out in specific to my brothers and my father’s in regards to our daughters and our sisters.
My brothers we have a serious responsibility when it comes to our sisters. you know it’s not just to feed them and to shelter them and to look out for them but rather we have a responsibility to play an active role in getting them married. I mean our daughters and our sisters are not pieces of furniture that sit at home, you know our sisters are now 20, 25, 30 years old still at home unmarried because you and I are not playing an active role in making the marriage easy for them. I’m not speaking about the sister that wants to remain single but how many of our sisters want to get married, they actually desire to be with someone and we’ve become an obstacle.
Wallahi My brothers and I’m being very honest and blunt. Our women feel unappreciated and they most certainly feel unloved. When was the last time you as a father, when was the last time you sat down with your daughter and smiled at her and told her how beautiful she is, how pretty her smile is, when was the last time you took her out to a cafe and made her feel involved in her life. When was the last time you reassured your daughter that when she grows up you’re gonna find her the best husband in the world.
At 20, 30 you’re not speaking about marriage, she’s obviously not married and no one’s knocking on the door and no one is saying anything, it’s like the elephant in the room that no one wants to talk about, everyone can see it but God forbid anyone should talk about it so my brother’s and my father’s we need to play a more active role, we need to show love and compassion towards our daughters. You need to show them that love, you need to smile at them, you need to reassure them every now and then that ”hey I haven’t forgotten about you”
The other issue is that when someone does come to ask for your daughter’s hand don’t make it mission impossible. My brothers and sisters you know we need to stop living in la-la land, we really need to take our heads out of the sand and understand the environment that we’re living in. Zina has become so easy and abundant, it is so easy to fornicate nowadays and marriage has become near impossible and again it’s against the Sunnah of our beloved Prophet Muhammad (saw), we claim that it’s Deen, Deen, Deen but it’s the furthest from it.
Look at the advice of our Beloved Prophet Muhammad (saw): He says ”if a man comes to you and he has religion coupled with manners then marry your daughters to him” why did the prophet of Allah say religion coupled with manners? because the fruits of religion is manners so when someone comes to you who’s god-fearing, he prays, he fasts, he does what Allah asks him, coupled with manners and he has Adhab & Akhlaq, he is polite, he is patient, he is forgiving, he is loving marry your daughter’s to this person and don’t make it difficult and if you do then you open a door a Fitnah.
How many times have I seen young brothers who are beautiful, you know very good brothers that have a lot of potential and possess all of these qualities but because he doesn’t drive a brand new car, because he doesn’t own a house, because he doesn’t have a business that’s making thousands of dollars a week, he’s rejected and this causes Fitnah.
ALLAH KNOWS BEST.